Taboo At Its Finest
by amethyst-ice22
Summary: Incest was one thing but getting pregnant by your own brother was another. Warning: M-preg. AU
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Hello everyone! If somehow this story is familiar, don't be alarmed that I plagiarized or something since fudan/nozomi22/amethyst/K are all me. Well, you'll only get it if you understand. And my muse still won't leave me along and my love for G27 is burning so brightly since I've already mapped up everything I want to happen in 'Fleeting Chance' whoosh~ I feel like crying just thinking about it haha. I love G27 and so here's a new take on them.

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><p><em>Tell me, if you were given a choice. <em>

It was his choice, wasn't it? To regret now was foolish, not to mention futile. If only...If only, what? In the end, he had a choice because no matter what, there's always a choice. No matter how much people want to deny and convince themselves that they didn't have a choice, there actually is. The fact of the matter is that it's all up to you. Life and death situations also apply to this. It's a choice and that's that.

_What would you choose?_

He knew it would end tragically if ever he acted on his desires yet why was it so hard? It was unfair and maybe he did something heinous for the heavens to punish him this way. Did he massacre people in his previous life? Did he steal from the poor and rape the innocent? Why did he need to go through this?

_To be loved by everyone?_

He was a person of morals. People looked up to him. He obeyed his parents and brought justice to people who did wrong with an iron fist yet...yet why? His life would've been bearable if only he wasn't like this. If only he was given birth to a different place and time, then maybe, he wouldn't be experiencing this painful of an ordeal.

_But not loving anyone in return._

He didn't know that it would lead to this. He was someone naive back then; ignorant of what the implications of what he was feeling before would lead to. Really, why was he stupid? Why of all the things he could've done in life and of all the mistakes he could've ever done, why this? He was confused and broken. He wanted to run away or die even but that would be unfair to the life he was carrying but what else could he do?

_Or to be loved by just one and be loved in return?_

So why this? Why was he suffering through this? He can only laugh bitterly at it all. He can only lie there on the floor lifelessly and endlessly but his situation will never change. How would be able to go through this? Would a sane person do this? Would someone who had morals do this? No, this was something only a monster would do because then, this would've never happened.

_But be hated by all. _

If only he didn't do it and if only he struggled and refused more. If only he could turn back time and erase everything that happened. Maybe then, his life would be normal. Maybe then, he wouldn't be holding a cutter in his hand and pressing it hard on his wrist. And maybe then, he wouldn't be bleeding on the cold, tiled floor; useless and forgotten.

_Because of all the things I could've done, it just had to be falling in love with my brother and bearing his child._

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><p>So what do you guys think? R&amp;R please. :)<em><br>_


	2. Chapter 2

**Replies: **

**Cuore l'anima della - **Glad you think so haha you're one of the rare that think like that so I hope you can support me till the end. :)**  
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**iloveyaoi-G27 - **Of course I will and aha! Your name is familiar haha you read 'Fleeting Chances,' don't you? ^^**  
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**Nowcalledbiff - **No no, this is a series and thanks for reading this. **  
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**CeruleanAndGray - **Haha I live to make people curious and it makes a good interest catcher, doesn't it? Haha and Tsuna's a guy here sorry I didn't clear it properly but the third person pronouns I used on the prologue is actually 'He' so I thought it was clear. And this will be a series so no worries. :)**  
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**A/N: **So this isn't too interesting a story, neh? Nevertheless, I'll continue this because forbidden love is just too tempting so here's a new chapter. (^0^)

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><p>Another hectic day in university meaning running around in circles trying to get to class on time and balancing projects and requirements here and there. It was all too tiring and sometimes he just wished that every professor burn in hell or something. Why can't they be at least considerate when giving assignments? It's not like their subject is the only subject they have.<p>

Universities really are the root of all evil. He bets that their original objective is to fail their subjects so they can repeat everything again and pay another set of tuition fees. Better yet, they're planning to kill students off. He sighed and banged his head on the table. He was at the library again. He may be an honour student but it doesn't mean he doesn't get tired of studying.

The truth of the matter was that he really hated studying but his sense of responsibility was too great and his pride won't let him fail a subject. Besides, the way he was now is because of hard work and also because of his sadistic tutor he had when younger. He wasn't that smart before. He's actually a slow-learner, not to mention bullied a lot. To at least compensate for that, he worked hard and now here he was, passing subjects like a breeze.

He sighed once again and groaned lowly. _God, so tired. Ugh._ A chuckle was heard interrupting his mental whining since he can't do it out loud lest he be kicked out of the library. He looked up and as soon as he did, a smile crept up on his face.

"Giotto-nii!" Said person chuckled and smiled before flopping himself beside the brunette. He brushed away a stray lock from his brother's hair before answering.

"Tsuna, if you continue looking like that, then sooner or later you'll develop wrinkles." An indignant gasp spew forth from his mouth. Him? Developing wrinkles? Instinctively, he punched the older man on the arm, not that it made a difference but he shouldn't be laughing at him like that.

"Nii-san, that isn't nice." He glared at his brother but the other only shook his head and reached out to ruffle his hair.

"Tsuna, you're just too cute." Giotto smiled that soft smile of his making him turn away because he knew that his cheeks were heating up meaning he was blushing again. Really, who would get embarrassed when praised by your own sibling? That's what he hated about Giotto. He loves him very much but sometimes, he feels too flustered and uncomfortable in his presence.

This is why people always compare them. In spite of them being apart for three years, people always were disappointed in him. He was even often mistaken as an acquaintance than his younger brother. Why? Well because Giotto was just too mature for his own good! _Darn it!_ He was well-mannered, kind, smart, and witty. It was annoying, not to mention that he was _way _taller than him and had a lithe and strong body. Right, Giotto also inherited his father's features while he received his mother's.

He tried, really, to work out and seem manlier and more mature but to no avail, all his efforts were washed down the drain when months later, his older brother still looked better than him, He was often laughed at that his body was too petite to actually build muscles and if he did, it can still be likened to a girl's. Not only that, no matter how much he ate, he was still thin and had a figure no boy should have but every woman would die for. _I'm not a woman for goodness' sake!_

Tsuna sighed and glanced at his brother from the side who was now engrossed with the book he was reading earlier on. Really, why does he seem so perfect and he looked so pathetic? He turned to his notes and tried to concentrate but he just couldn't. Well, he needed to since Giotto might sense that something is up and once there is, there's no way of knowing what he'd do.

His older brother was always like that. He was affectionate, too much he would say. He was thoughtful and protective of him. It's not that he didn't like it but sometimes he goes overboard and shouldn't he be old enough not to be taken care of? He was already seventeen years old, darn it. Sometimes it made him flattered, but often times it made him feel useless.

"Giotto, you don't have to wait up for me. I might stay late here." The lovely thing about their national library was that, it was open for 24 hours. The owner was kind and understanding and felt for the students that's why he made it a rule that the library should be open at all times.

And he was thankful for that since he liked staying at the library. It was not a place for studying, but it was a place of solace for him. Ever since young, he's always turned to books. Other kids often isolated him and he'd taken a habit of reading. That's why he needed for Giotto to go home early knowing he was in one of those moods wherein he wanted to ponder and just be alone. Knowing his brother, he was more than sure that he would insist on staying with him and right now, Giotto was the last person he wanted to be with as of the moment.

He just needed time to think—to organize his thoughts. School had been hectic, his boyfriend has been overbearing, and Giotto has been confusing. Well, Giotto has and always will be confusing and for someone like him who didn't trust easily, it was his first instinct to flinch away from any forms of affection. He deemed it as a sign weakness as thought by his tutor.

He didn't want to be weak, especially in front of his brother. For once, he wanted to seem useful and not looked down upon for having a seemingly perfect brother. He wasn't like this before but because of his gullible personality, he's been hurt too much and ever since he started college, he did all he could to change and thankfully, he did albeit only a little.

Still, it didn't change the fact that Giotto's always taking care of him and smiling that small smile that made his heart flutter. He sighed; maybe, he had a brother complex or something? Or he was just too attached to him? Yeah, maybe, he was and it couldn't be anything else. _Yeah, I'm just too tired lately._

Too lost in his thoughts, he didn't realize he was being stared at. Giotto already told his brother that he wanted to wait for him yet he didn't receive a response in return. He turned to the side only to see him spacing out. _Again, huh?_ His younger brother had been like this for days now. With that in mind, he reached out and gently turned the brunette's chin towards him, smiling inside seeing Tsuna's shocked expression.

"Is there something bothering you?" The brunette's eyes widened confirming everything he needed to know. Tsuna was just really too easy to read.

"I'm right, aren't I?" He tightened his grip on Tsuna's chin, just hard enough to let the other know that he wanted answers and he's not taking no for an answer. Knowing this, Tsuna sighed. Giotto was at it again. He was always like this when something bothered him. He'll stop at nothing to find out what's bothering him. He was grateful but sometimes, he was just too much, just like now.

He can't just say that he's one of his problems. Giotto may act mature most of the time in spite of his boyish looks but he was still sensitive, especially when their father died five years ago. A leakage in a gas station in Italy led to their father's death. It came to be too great of a shock for his mother and also Giotto who had been living with his father in Italy to further his studies.

True, he was saddened and cried many times but Giotto's bond with their father was deeper since he was the one with him at the time. From then on, he's tried everything to make Giotto feel less lonely but he was still the same way. He may have become more affectionate but when it comes to some others, he was as closed as a lock.

"Kyoya and I just had misunderstandings." A flawless lie and a forced smile—perfect. He didn't know when he started to be good at lying but he did and he can't do anything about it now.

"I see, I'll be going then." Tsuna smiled at his brother and pecked him on the cheek before turning his attention towards the book he was trying so hard to read a few moments ago. He knew, somehow, what he said irritated Giotto because he never liked Kyoya and until this day, he didn't know why.

Alright, maybe he did. Hibari Kyoya was a feared name. Known to be violent and unforgiving when someone breaks the rules or just annoy him. That was already considered a crime. Tsuna sighed quietly to himself. Truthfully, he didn't know what Kyoya saw in him though he was forced to date him before but now he liked him, very much so. He was actually quite gentle and kind towards him though to others he was brutal. It made him feel special that he was being treated that way but he was a bit too possessive at times.

He was the perfect boyfriend. Well, to him Kyoya was at least but he could see how hostile Giotto was towards him and he didn't understand why. He was an overprotective brother after all so he shouldn't be wondering about that. Thinking that, it made him feel light somehow but a frown soon marred his face. This was what exactly he needed to find out about. He loved his brother, yes and he won't deny that he's fond of him but sometimes, it just felt off.

The way he was so affectionate that you would call it intimate; the gestures, the stares, and most importantly his attitude towards him. He liked it though and it made him feel special and since Giotto was his only sibling, then, he would indulge him. Besides, he respected his brother a great deal since he was the one holding the family together. He was the head of the house now. He was supporting him and his mother, emotionally and mentally. They were well-off though since their grandfather decided that he and Giotto would be the heirs of his multi-billionaire company.

He turned to the side, expecting to see nothing but stacks and stacks of books but his eyes widened when he saw Giotto beside him staring intensely and somehow that unnerving feeling came back again.

"Giotto-nii? I thought you're leaving?" He didn't see the dark stare and the clenched fists. All Tsuna knew was that his brother somehow looked mad and wondered why.

"Tsuna..." He tilted his head to the side, waiting for his brother to speak.

"If he hurts you, just tell me, alright?" _Because if he does, he won't get to see another day, again. _Tsuna stared at him, those innocent eyes that were oblivious to everything causing him to grit his teeth. He wanted to lash out and demand him to stop seeing Hibari but he can't. He saw how happy Tsuna was with the bastard.

He was being like this again and before it gets out of hand, he needed to pull away from those thoughts. He needed to get away _now_. He smiled, fake—that he knew. He didn't know when he started being so fake but he was and there's nothing stopping from being so. The perfect, smart, and role model Giotto—the one Tsuna knew and adores yet he, himself, abhorred, how cruel life was.

"I'm you're older brother so I'm entitled to beat the hell out of anyone who hurts you." Tsuna smiled hearing this but the next line just made him want to punch Giotto.

"And I'm the only one who can do that to you." He glared at the smirking male before waving his hand asking for Giotto to leave. Really, he was a cheeky brat sometimes.

"Shut up and just go already!" He huffed and turned away ignoring the taunting laughter that seemed so different to the ones he usually hears from Giotto. But he ignored that thought in favor of actually trying to study and getting better grades than he originally had. He needed to study for awhile so he can have more time to day dream later.

With that in mind, Tsuna turned a page and continued not knowing that he was being stared at once again. His expression darkened and before long he was gone, leaving nothing in his wake. He needs to leave now and find a distraction, an addiction; anything that would make him want anything but the only thing he can't have. The forbidden fruit he knew he was obsessed with. The one thing in this world he can't have in spite of being filthy rich. And that was no other than the one he left behind.

_My own brother, Sawada Tsunayoshi._

...

It was past midnight when he decided to go home. His eyes felt like lead and all he wanted to do was curl up on his bed and sleep. Tomorrow was Saturday meaning he could sleep in and that's what he needed as of the moment. He thought hard and in the end, he concluded that Giotto was just someone he valued greatly. He had a brother complex, as clear and simple as that.

He had nothing to be ashamed of. Besides, he was his only brother meaning he was entitled to be fond of him. Aside from their beloved mother, they only had each other to rely on. He smiled knowing that finally, his mind was clear and the once stressful day ended peacefully. Now that's been resolved, he'll be able to continue his tiring and fun university days with fewer worries.

Tsuna walked briskly towards his house, suddenly having an urge to see his older brother. He felt bad, now that he realized it. He's been spacing out a lot lately and he knew Giotto was worrying about him.

He shouldn't do that to his older brother, especially since all he ever does is to take care of him. So he's decided that after today, he'll treat him better; more so than he'd ever done before. He won't flinch away because when it comes to his older brother, nothing should be kept hidden. He smiled as he went inside his room, he'll change first before going to Giotto's room.

For tonight, they'll be alone since their mother had a business meeting to attend to. Maybe, he'll sleep with Giotto tonight. He missed doing that. Smiling to himself, he giddily proceeded to his brother's room and was about to open the door, knowing Giotto rarely locks his door but stopped when he heard noises and...voices? _Giotto invited a friend over? Hmm...must be G._

Tsuna nodded to himself, satisfied with his conclusion before slowly opening the door, ready to shout his brother's name happily when he froze, completely shocked and taken off guard. Giotto was naked and so was the girl under him. Giotto was holding the girl's hips as he thrust in and out. He was not stupid; he knew what they were doing. He didn't know what he should feel as of the moment. He was shocked, yes but what made him step backwards was Giotto himself.

"A pathetic site indeed. Is this all you can do? You better satisfy me, understand?" He saw Giotto pull the girl's hair roughly and chuckled darkly and it made him shiver in fright. What's even scarier was that such a threat was uttered with calmness, not caring how he was hurting the woman that lay under him. Never has he seen Giotto like this, heck, he never swore before.

Unknowingly, tears gathered in his eyes as he watched his brother fuck the girl on the bed roughly. He watched as Giotto hit and hurt the girl in all ways possible. He was disgusted but more than that, he was scared, no, he was terrified. Who was this person he was seeing before him? This wasn't his kind and gentle brother and this person was definitely not his Giotto.

He wanted to get out but he found his feet rooted to the ground as he watched the horrible scene unfold before him. He closed his eyes and willed with all his might that he move and by a stroke of luck he did. He made a run for it, only to trip and fall on his first three steps. He heard a gasp and he knew that he was caught. He clenched his fists and cursed himself. _Out of all the times you could've been clumsy, why now Tsuna? You idiot!_

Fearfully, he turned around only to see Giotto glaring at him and it was then that he realized that he really was his brother but he didn't know this side of him and he never would want to know. He watched with fearful eyes as Giotto stepped down from the bed, not minding that he was naked and walked towards him.

He was still on the floor unable to move as Giotto kneeled on one knee before him, tilting his chin. Giotto smirked and leaned in, basking in the fear he saw in the other's eyes. He wanted to feel guilty but somehow he can't seem to care because it was his fault in the first place. It wasn't his intention that Tsuna see this but now that he was exposed, what's the point of hiding it?

"Tsuna, you do know that before you enter someone else's room, you need to knock, right?" Tsuna nodded fearfully as Giotto smiled at him, that small smile he loved so much before was the same smile that made his gut turn. He just wanted to puke. He felt everything in his mind and chest all jumbled and erratic.

"What you did was wrong, Tsuna. What should you say?" He tightened his grip making his younger brother whimper as tears slowly cascaded down his face. That sight only made his smile wider.

"I-I'm s-sorry, N-Nii-san." He saw Giotto nod before standing up and proceeding to his bed. He grabbed a robe and covered himself before throwing the unknown woman's clothes to her face and demanded she get out. She looked terrified and Tsuna can't blame her. He was still on his spot on the floor as she ran past him. He tried getting up but failed miserably when Giotto turned to him, a smirk gracing his lips. He walked towards him and assumed the same position he was in awhile ago, kneeling while cradling his chin between his fingers.

"Why so scared Tsuna? Never fucked around with Hibari?" Hearing this, his initial fear dissipated. Something inside him snapped and before he knew it, he was raising his hand and slapped Giotto hard. He didn't know where the sudden strength came from.

Maybe, it was the sudden surge of rage of being assumed as a whore and insulting Kyoya, though he may only like him, he was still his boyfriend. And no matter how scared and confused he was, he won't take shit from anyone, most especially from his own brother.

"How dare you! Don't compare me to the likes of you, you bastard!" He pushed his brother away and stood on wobbly legs, wanting to get away as soon as possible. He was mad and all other emotions were pushed back because right now, he can't bear to see him. It didn't take long before he reached the door and when he did, a voice stopped him.

"Do you hate me?" He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth but didn't look back. That voice, he knew that tone of voice and he knew that when he looks back, he'll just be trapped. For now, there's no way he'll forgive easily.

"Right now, I don't want to see you or the day after this but the word hate is never in my dictionary. You of all people should know that, _Nii-san_." With that, he slammed the door close leaving his older brother standing alone in the middle of his room. And once he was sure that Tsuna was gone and won't be coming back, his own tears fell, punching the wall beside him. He glared hard at the empty spot his brother used to occupy.

"I hate you Tsuna, I really hate you, you know that?" His words trailed off knowing that it was getting harder to breathe with the constricting feeling in his chest. He stared at the floor wondering why his life was so fucked up. Why of all people him? Why can't it be any one of his friends or anyone else for that matter? He could care less if that person was male or female but why? Why did it have to be him? Why did it have to be his own brother? He sat on his bed heavily and laughed to himself.

"I'm pathetic, aren't I?" Giotto clenched his fists and reached for his phone, he needed to clear his head. G should still be awake. A few minutes and he was dressing himself up. He can't stay here tonight, not like this. Locking his door behind him, he headed for the door passing Tsuna's door along the way and hearing the faint cries from within. Giotto clenched his fists and continued on his way. He really hated him and right now that won't change.

_I hate you because I can never have you, Tsuna..._

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><p>Dun dun dun! R&amp;R please. :)<em><br>_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/****N: READ. THANKS. ROSES. **Wow. So you guys want me to continue this, huh? I really thought no one would read this since there was barely any number of alerts, favorites, and reviews. Thank you everyone! Please continue supporting this, along with my other stories.

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><p>Tsuna walked down the hallways of the university, his mind blank yet wandering and confused. What was he doing here at six in the morning? That, he didn't know exactly, but he had an inkling feeling it was because of his older brother. <em>Who else? <em>He thought sarcastically. It was just that as soon as he woke up, he took a bath, and sped away, using his barely used car towards his school.

Like the brunet had said the night before, he didn't want to see his sibling. He can't even bring himself to utter his name. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, one that made him want to hurl and puke. Truly, he was lost; more so than he was terrified of what he witnessed last night. A cold splash of water under the burning sun. No, it was more of a thousand needles pricking you all at once.

When he woke up this morning, he felt cold. Tsuna hugged himself and rocked his body back and forth, trying to take comfort in the friction of skin rubbing skin. He didn't know how long he pondered, and stayed on his bed, just staring at nothing, but one thought prevailed. _I can't face him._ And now here he was in his deserted school. Class starts at seven, meaning he had about an hour to linger, and wander the premises.

Enough time to make things seem right when in fact it was the exact opposite. Enough time to fool his friends that he was doing fine, when in fact he just wanted to curl up in bed all day. He stopped in front of his classroom, and was about to open the door, when a voice resonated through the silent hallway.

"Excuse me?" It was surprising that he didn't gasp in surprise at the sudden intrusion. In fact, he felt indifferent, completely blank—empty. He turned around, and saw one of the janitors staring at him. Tsuna kept silent waiting for the other to speak and he did.

"There's no class today. It's Saturday, young man." His brain must've been dead this morning. Was he stupid? Of course, today was Saturday. A day he had always be looking forward to, since he could sleep in, and laze about the whole day but what was he doing here wide awake? The brunet sighed, and turned around, before walking towards the opposite direction towards the exit, ignoring the calls from behind—too preoccupied with wondering where to go next.

He needed to find a place where he could stay the whole day without anyone bothering him, because home was the last option for him. The library wasn't an option too, since he knew Giotto would be able to find him easily, and he can't have that. Just thinking of them meeting made his stomach turn in the most unpleasant ways. Tsuna hasn't even eaten. He just felt too sick to actually intake anything, even water wasn't an option.

As much as possible, he didn't want to think of Giotto—to forget him even for just a day. He needed to clear things in his head first, because right now everything was just bombarding him, and his only option is to concentrate on building a wall around his thoughts. He needed emptiness, and most importantly peace because if he didn't, even breathing became hard.

The petite teen wanted to cry, which he did last night, until he fell asleep but crying out here in public would just be embarrassing, especially since he was a guy. For him, crying was a sign of weakness; it can be likened to baring your heart and soul. He was once a cry baby, and even now, he cried occasionally but he never showed anyone aside from his family, boyfriend, and best friend.

Tsuna considered tears important—sacred even. He knew that each droplet conveyed that person's emotion, and once he sees someone crying, he can't help but reach out. That's why he hated those whiny brats who cried to get their way. Crying was something gentle and kind, and the only person he knew who would cry so beautifully and painfully, was his older brother.

That day when their father died, he cried buckets. Giotto even stayed for a month in his room, refusing for him to be away from his sight. He was quite overbearing because every night, he cried, waking him from his slumber and the night ended with him cuddling his brother close, whispering and singing just to get him to sleep.

But all that time, he neither complained nor did he get sick of seeing the blond's crying face, because his tears were like pearls falling softly down his porcelain skin, and it made his heart ache. The brunet did all he could to make him feel at ease, and make him feel that he's not alone. After a year of catering to his needs, he succeeded.

Giotto was laughing again, smiling that small smile he loved so much. He was just like an innocent child, with a cheeky and annoying personality at times, yet he was endearing. He wanted to protect him but in the end, it was him always being protected. Giotto stopped crying then, and it's been more or less five years, since he did.

Tsuna wondered sometimes if Giotto cried silently in his room. Every day, he worried for him, prayed for him, and wished that he be alright and come to him for comfort, yet everything was different. His older sibling was the one always smiling, caring, and protecting and him...he was just useless. Now that he thought about it, what has he ever done for Giotto?

Well, he has, but even after all these years, why couldn't he rely on him? Did he look that reckless? He never even had a drop of alcohol in his life! He may be snappy at most times, but he never rejected Giotto, no matter how tired he was, he always made sure that he gave his brother attention. He knew that it was Giotto who needed it the most, and it was the blond who loved the most, and expects the same and more in return.

He did all he could but his efforts are all wasted, huh? How come he turned out to be the way he was? Was Giotto always like that? Someone cold, ruthless, and angry. It shook him to the core; the way he spoke, his voice, and actions were all the things he never witnessed nor experienced before in his life. The Giotto he has come to know and love wasn't the real him?

The brunet shook his head and sighed, wondering why he was thinking so deeply into this. He looked to the side, and was surprised, to see the cafe he always frequented, whenever the library became too desolate for his tastes. So he drove here unconsciously? Then, good for him, this cafe was also open for 24 hours, not only that, a friend of his owned it, meaning he can stay the night.

With that in mind, he parked his car and hurriedly went inside. The ever addicting smell of coffee bombarded his senses as soon as he came in. No matter what, he'll never get tired of coffee, and of course caffeine. Maybe, it was the right place to let his mind drift away. Tsuna walked towards the counter, somehow feeling a bit calmer. This place was just as cosy as it was years before.

"Enma." The man behind the counter turned around, and as soon as he saw him, a smile lighted his face. It was nice seeing such a refreshing sight.

"Tsuna…welcome, the usual?" Tsuna smiled and nodded. His best friend would always remember, now, won't he?

"I'll be back in a few and we'll have a long talk." Caramel-colored eyes widened, knowing what the other meant. Enma knew already? The brunet sighed, and let out a chuckle, before proceeding upstairs, where he knew his best friend lived. It was a large apartment and just like the cafe, it was as cosy and welcoming.

Whenever Enma meant having a long talk, he does mean it, and after all this while, his friend still knew him through and through. He was his best friend, after all. Enma could see through him like an open book, and more often than not, he was thrown off his feet. He always seems to know when he's down even though he's so good at lying. Tsuna laughed at this.

If it was a decade ago, Tsuna would be a person who can't even tell a lie for the life of him. Now, he was as good as any con artist, and it started only a few years ago—years ago when Giotto suddenly became too important for him. He sighed and flopped down on Enma's bed, knowing it would take a whole day. He hasn't seen his friend for so long and now that he did, he'll tell him everything. Even if he finds him strange, he knew he could trust his crimson-haired friend. He was like his other half, a part of him which he can never be separated from—his mirror and his pillar of support.

More than a brother, more than a best friend…Enma was him in more ways than one. Tsuna treasured him dearly, but he knew the way he loved him, can never compare to what he feels for his older brother. His role model of a sibling who he didn't want to see as of now. He sighed once again and his shoulders slumped against the cold wall behind him. He was too depressed for his liking.

"Tsuna, don't contaminate my place with that gloomy aura of yours." He looked up, and saw Enma standing by the doorway, a tray in hand with his signature coffee and strawberry cake. Tsuna smiled a little, feeling warm all of a sudden, no matter how many years have passed; Enma will always know him as much as he knows him too.

"Enma." Said man placed down the tray, and arranged everything on the table. By the looks of it, their talk would be long. And by the sound of Tsuna's voice, he's carrying a lot of burden. He looked up and he was right. He saw how teary the brunet's eyes were. He sighed and stood up, before sitting down beside his broken friend and pulled him close. Not soon after, he felt dampness on his shoulder. He felt the trembling, and he could only tighten his embrace, knowing it would take time before Tsuna calmed down.

"Shh...It's ok, Tsuna. Let it all out. I'm here for you."

...

Tsuna sighed and rubbed at his arms furiously. It's already past four am, and the cold was biting at his skin. His talk with Enma ended a few hours ago. They both went to sleep at midnight, yet when he woke up, he felt distressed and he didn't know why. It took time for him to register what it was, and when he did, his eyes widened and he scrambled up, trying to fix himself, before dashing out and starting his car.

Yesterday was supposed to be the arrival of his mother from her meeting! How stupid could he be? She must be worried now, especially since he didn't bring his phone with him, and he wasn't able to inform anyone of his whereabouts. The brunet sighed once again and shook his head. The drive to his house would take about an hour, meaning he'll be able to get there a little before six. He just hoped then that his mother would be asleep.

Tsuna was guilty yet he felt lighter somehow. Really, he should've gone to his best friend at the first place rather than moping about. It was a breather and all his pent up thoughts just flowed out—it felt nice. It was just what he needed. A small smile flitted across his lips. _Thank you, Enma. _ Something bothered him though; it was what his best friend told him last night.

That what he felt for Giotto was just him having a brother complex and for him to let his brother be. To just ignore him for now and avoid him at all costs. He wondered why he needed to do that. Maybe, so that his sibling would fess up if he doesn't acknowledge him? Tsuna sighed and shook his head. Truthfully, he wasn't mad anymore.

He was a little upset but he should understand his brother. He was already twenty-one years old, and he had needs too, but really he shouldn't be that rough nor should he be that rude towards him. Maybe, the reason why he acted that way towards him was because he disturbed their session? Tsuna blushed thinking about it. Unlike Giotto, he was still as pure as a saint. He didn't want to do it yet and Kyoya understood that.

Tsuna sighed and shook his head. No matter what, he really does trust his nii-san. He was family after all, and just like their mother said, family comes before anything else. If anything, they're the ones you can turn to, your own flesh and blood. _My own flesh and blood, huh?_ He snapped out of his thoughts seeing the driveway of their house. He parked his car and proceeded towards the front door. The brunet yawned and stretched, intending to sleep like a log once inside in his room, it's not that he had classes later on. It was still Sunday, after all.

"You seem tired, Tsuna." He froze in his steps, his eyes widening, as he saw Giotto stand up from his position on the stairs. He stepped back, suddenly feeling intimidated, when he remembered Enma's words. _Avoid your brother for now._

Instead of answering, Tsuna walked straight towards the door walking pass by his nii-san. Maybe, Enma was right. Being away and ignoring Giotto for a while would be best, because right now being in his presence brought back all the things he didn't want to feel. He can feel his heart breathing fast, his palms sweating, and for some reason, it didn't bode well for him. The brunet needed to get away fast. He fastened his pace, but stopped abruptly when a hand gripped his arm. He looked back only to see that same glare yesterday night.

"Where the hell have you been?" Giotto's voice was quiet and threatening and Tsuna was finding it hard to believe, that he was still able to know what Giotto was thinking even though he's the polar opposite of the person he was used to—the sweet, lovable, and protective Giotto.

"It's none of your business." His voice was blank, and his expression carefully concealed, making Giotto angrier than he was before. He had been waiting for his younger brother the whole night. His mother called early in the evening, saying she won't be back for another few days, leaving him all alone in the house, and somehow, it made it all the worse for him.

Giotto called all of Tsuna's friends and begrudgingly, even his boyfriend, yet they didn't know where he was. He felt guilty knowing that it was his fault his sibling was like that, but he couldn't help it. It was something out of his control. What he's done was already irreversible, and for some reason, he wanted for it to stay that way. He wanted for his brother to hate him, and forever be disgusted with him, but he knew deep inside, it would just tear him apart.

"None of my business, huh? Is this your way of rebelling, Tsuna?" The brunet felt that same constricting feeling in his chest. He knew that if he looked up now, it would be over. He'll see that expression that would make his knees weak. But he wasn't called an idiot for nothing, because he did what his mind was telling him not to do. Slowly, his gaze flitted towards Giotto, only to have his breath hitch seeing those heart-breaking eyes.

"G-Giotto..." He saw the other glare hard, before roughly releasing his arm. Tsuna stepped back suddenly aware of his brother's advancing steps.

"Not my business?" Giotto cornered the brown-haired male and smiled spitefully. He didn't know what he was doing but right now he was mad, more than that, he was lost and confused. He knew something like this would happen, Tsuna avoiding him that is. Now that it's starting to happen, he couldn't stomach it.

"Fine be that way, do what you want but just one thing, Tsuna." He looked up at Giotto, apprehension in his eyes. He saw how his brother was gritting his teeth, before sighing and shaking his head. Giotto stepped back, causing him to sigh in relief. He watched as his older brother stared at him for who knows how long, his eyes mournful, and it made him feel like he was the biggest fail of a brother of all.

"Hate me, ignore me, avoid me all you want, just _don't_ make me worried ever again." Giotto raised his hand, and ruffled his hair, and from then on, Tsuna knew what he had done wrong. Because as the blond smiled that small smile and turned around, before walking away from him, Tsuna saw him shiver and sneeze. His figure disappearing in the darkness of their house, swallowed by the shadows, illuminated by the peeking rays of the sun. He was left staring at the place where Giotto sat, the outline of his pants painted the front stairs, and it only meant one thing.

_He was waiting for me the whole night…_and he couldn't help but feel guiltier than he already was. He wanted to go after Giotto but he didn't, because even then he would be able to utter not a word.

_I'm sorry, Giotto-nii…_

...

And that day was the last he saw of Giotto. Tsuna was a wreck, and it made him feel like he just committed the biggest mistake of his life. At home, he couldn't see him since he's always locked in his room, and at night, from what he knew, he always went out. His mother told him he leaves early as well. It's been a week already, and a glimpse of him is all he's seen, and that only happens in their university.

The brunet sighed once again, as he watched his brother play soccer happily with his friends. He looked forlornly at the scene before him, when fingers suddenly made its way on his chin, lifting it up. His eyes widened and he let out a gasp, surprised; his countenance tense and alarmed, only to sigh in relief seeing who it was.

"Kyoya, it's you..." His boyfriend frowned at him, causing him to frown in return. Was there something wrong?

"Is there something wrong, Tsunayoshi?" He tried to smile, he really did but it only deepened Kyoya's frown, making him sigh in frustration. Instead, he removed his boyfriend's fingers from his chin, and hugged him tight. If Kyoya was surprised, he didn't show it. Instead, he hugged his petite lover closer, and buried his nose in that fluffy mane he loved so much.

"Tsunayoshi?' He didn't answer but tightened his embrace and it only meant one thing to Hibari. _Just let me stay like this for a while…._

...

Tsuna went home late that night, because for some reason, Kyoya refused for him to go home, until he told him everything, and he did except what Giotto did. He told him that it was best to reconcile with his brother, and he will as soon as he had the courage to do so. Tsuna sighed, and opened his bedroom door, intending to start on his homework, when a voice resounded throughout the dark room.

"You're back late, Tsuna." He gasped in surprise, and turned around only to see Giotto sitting on his bed, staring at him. He breathed in a sigh of relief, and placed a hand on his chest, trying to still his racing heart.

"Giotto-nii, what are you doing here?" Hesitantly, he approached his older brother, but stopped suddenly when he saw the bottle in the other's hand. His eyes widened, and quickly pulled the bottle of wine from Giotto's lax grip. With gritted teeth, he threw the bottle out the window, not caring where it went; all he had in mind was to get rid of it. Once done, he stood in front of him, a glare in place.

"You can't _drink,_ nii-san. Even the doctors didn't allow you. You go into depression when you do, remember?" His brother stayed silent. He just continued staring at him. They stayed that way staring at each other, and it made Tsuna worried, what's happening to his older brother? With a sigh, he shook his head and flicked the the blond's forehead lightly, and turned around intending to go out of his room. Knowing staring at each other won't get them anywhere; Tsuna sighed and shook his head.

"Just sleep here for the night, nii-san. I'll sleep in you-"He stopped abruptly feeling arms around his waist. He was pulled back into his brother's chest, his head resting on his shoulder. Tsuna tried to get out of Giotto's tight grip, but it proved useless, when the blond didn't move an inch.

"Giotto-nii, would you let go? I want to sleep al-"

"Tsuna..." His back stiffened feeling his brother's breath ghosting over his neck. It felt strange and for some reason, his heart was racing again. It wasn't long before he felt dampness and unconsciously, his body relaxed and just concentrated on Giotto's shaking and dry heaves.

"Didn't I tell you not to make me worried?" Tsuna felt the embrace getting tighter. It was uncomfortable, and all he wanted was to get away, but Giotto held tight.

"Do you hate me, Tsuna?" Said brunet bit his lower lip trying to think properly. It was hard, especially with the way the blond was holding him. He closed his eyes and breathed out.

"I don't, nii-san, so let go al-"

"Then, why do you always make me worried?" Giotto felt everything spinning. It was true that he was the one avoiding his younger brother for the past couple of days, but he always made sure that Tsuna was home before he went out every night. He always made sure his younger sibling was safe and sound, before leaving the house but tonight, it was different. Earlier, he saw how he and his boyfriend were disgustingly hugging each other, and all he felt that time was rage, but what can he do?

He went home early having lost the will to go out for the night, and what a surprise for him that even past midnight, his brother wasn't back, and for him it only meant one thing; he was still with Hibari. All kinds of thoughts went through his head, he felt like he was going insane. Was this some kind of revenge on his Tsuna's part? That just because he saw him fucking some whore, he was out fucking with Hibari?

He didn't want to believe it, he really didn't, but what if he did? He felt as if he wanted to puke and just kill someone, or do something to make everything go away. The only thing that came to mind was to forget and he did. He went out and bought all the wine he could get his hands on, and drank the night away. He knew he wasn't allowed to drink, but rules be damned. And so here he was clinging on to his brother for dear life. He didn't know himself anymore.

"I just forgot to call, Giotto-nii." He tried to put it mildly, but his brother's grip didn't falter, if anything, it got firmer.

"Forgot, huh? Where were you then?" This was bad, really bad. If he didn't know Giotto better, he would've told him he was with Kyoya right off the bat. But he did, and if he told him where he was, and at his drunken state, who knows what might happen.

"I was with Gokudera." And just as soon as he uttered those words, he felt Giotto let go and turn him around. He felt the world turn upside down, and now he was staring at the ceiling, his hands pinned above him. His brother's face came into view, and everything came crashing down on him. Giotto's lips were heavily on his own, and his mind was having a hard time processing what was happening. The blond pulled back before he could move, and now he was staring angrily at him.

"You liar! I saw you leave with Hibari!" His eyes widened and he turned away. This was definitely not good. A drunk and angry Giotto was definitely bad.

"Fine, I was with Kyoya, happy?" He felt Giotto releasing his hands, and he sighed in relief, only to gasp in surprise, when he felt his hands being tied to the bed. Caramel-colored eyes widened and he tried thrashing his body. His older sibling held him down, and leaned close, letting the scent of alcohol pervade his senses.

"Fucking around, ne?" His thrashing stopped abruptly hearing this. He directed a glare on his brother who smirked at him in return.

"Why so mad Tsuna? It's true, isn't it?" The brunet wanted to lash out and hit him but at his current state, he can't do anything.

"You don't know what you're talking about, _Nii-san_." Giotto chuckled again, and he felt a shiver run down his spine. For some reason, he had a bad feeling about this.

"I don't, really? So my adorable, little brother is still a little virgin?" Tsuna felt his cheeks burn, and it wouldn't take a genius to know that he was blushing, but it was dark, and so he hoped that Giotto didn't see.

"You're blushing, so I guess it's true, hmm?" He turned away hoping against hopes, that his brother would stop already, but he didn't, and everything was just wrong.

"So what? I'm not like some people who go doing just anyone who opens their legs for them!" Tsuna bit out suddenly, feeling mad and frustrated, for being taunted and embarrassed like this.

"Just like always; feisty and stubborn, Tsuna. But..." Tsuna gasped, feeling a hand sliding down his sides, going up and down. It was slow and sensual, and it left his skin tingling.

"What the hell are you doing, Giotto!" He growled out, and he thrashed his body once again. Ok, he was being considerate a while ago since he knows his brother was drunk, and currently out of his mind, but this was going overboard. His breath hitched, when he felt Giotto's lips making a trail down his neck. His whole body stilled, when he felt those wet lips kissing their way up, and stopping at his ears, blowing hot puffs of breath in his ear.

Tsuna felt the erratic beating of his heart, and he knew it skipped a beat when Giotto whispered slowly. His eyes widened and he froze completely, that even when the blond untied him, and pulled away, he was still at that same position. That even when his brother kissed him once again, he didn't react, and even when Giotto left and closed the door, he was still staring blankly at the ceiling, his words echoing cruelly in his head.

"A word of caution, Tsuna…anyone can take that virginity of yours any time…even _me_."

* * *

><p><strong>R&amp;R! :)<strong>


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